Apparently the enlightened person is insightful & open-minded. They are able to see the world with great clarity, without attachment to preconceived ideas about people, places, and things. This enables them to observe the world without jumping to conclusions.
Knowing our strengths and accepting our weaknesses (and being realistic about those of others) helps us to know ourselves and be more calm/at peace/less judgy.
However, it’s not plain sailing!

We talked about ‘who do you want to be’ earlier. I’ve given this kind of soul searching a go in the past and come up against a brick wall ‘I really truly don’t know WHO I am’. It’s not easy to stop and think like this. Because we might find that some of the assumptions about our life are either just that, assumptions, or no longer relevant or serving us moving forward.

I found asking myself the following questions useful. What do we want to be known for? what would we like people to say at our funeral about us? Sounds morbid but I’ve found ‘working backwards’ from those points incredibly helpful in deciding the direction I want to take, which then helps prioritise where I want to put my energy at any given time. Which is different to finding your ‘life’s purpose’.
Life purpose is also something else I’ve struggled with. Often when there’s choices. Of course, life is full of choices, which is one of the causes of anxiety for many. What if I pick the wrong pill? (sorry, Matrix reference there).

The good news is that most of the time our choices don’t need to be made just the once.
Education choices, career choices are mostly reversible or things we can go back to if we desire. Portfolio career anyone? Abandoned friends can forgive (if they see you’re genuine & sincerely sorry), romantic relationships aren’t always as ‘dead’ as they appear to be & love ebbs and flows. It can sometimes be rekindled with enough TLC. What can appear to be a desert can turn into an oasis with a bit of watering. Things stop and start, we are told everything has a beginning and an end. Yet is it more cyclical? We are taught that life is so black and white. Or blue and red. But in reality it’s many shades of grey. I will resist that particular film reference!

Being brave enough to be ourselves and live a life that works for us is vital. Sometimes this means that key people in your life are not happy. And many of us are people pleasers, that’s what we’ve been conditioned to be. And yet, if we DO try to please all the people all of the time, we will actually, after a few years, realise that we’ve failed. It is simply not possible. I’ve thought about this a lot. If you ‘succeeded’ in your quests and you were ‘perfect’, everyone would still hate on you. It’s the human condition.

Comparison and competition can create jealousy and feelings of inadequacy. If you were perfect in every way (whatever that is) as far as they are concerned, you are a threat to their ego. You are what they ‘could’ be if they tried that little bit harder. Were that bit better. You’ve raised the bar too far. You are now the enemy. You need to be brought down a peg or two, as the saying goes. Ever noticed supposedly ‘successful’ people being knocked off their pedestal? A feature of celebrity culture. So they are pushed until they fall from grace. When they’ve repented enough they are allowed to rise like a phoenix from the flames. So in actual fact, not being perfect helps others around you to feel better about themselves. You are doing them a favour. Does that help????

Imposter Syndrome? We are all winging it. That’s a good thing. That’s growth. We need to try something new. Which we CANNOT be sure we’re any good at. But if we know our strengths, know what’s important to us and notice our reactions in certain situations and have the inner strength to analyse them, we will be able to make better choices and live lives which have more awe and joy and less stress and anxiety.